Today is kind of a hard day. I don't want it to be, but I can't help but remember that this was supposed to be the first birthday for our sweet boy. Jonathan Paul was supposed to be born on November 25, 2008--our Thanksgiving baby. While that didn't happen, and he went to heaven almost 4 months before that date, I still think about what would have been, what should have been.
It is weird how in my head, Jonathan almost has two ages. I think about how old he would be if he had lived from the day he was actually born, but I also think about how old he should have been if everything had happened like we were planning. We celebrate his birthday on July 31, but I wish that today was a day that we were having all of our family and friends over to celebrate a big 1st birthday party. Oh, if only...
But despite all this, I'm thankful that God is holding our boy close in His arms, and our sweet boy's entire life is a celebration in Heaven! I can't wait until someday we get to join that party!
7 comments:
I love you Aly and Justin and share your loss, Dad.
Praying for peace for you during this holiday! You are an amazing woman:-)
I think of two dates as well, so I know exactly how you feel. Thinking of you and Justin today. {hugs}
Thinking of you today...love you!
Bess
Thinking of you both and of your precious Jonathan xo
I completely get how you feel with the two dates...I am exactly the same. I sometimes think in terms of the age our boys would have been if they'd lived when they were actually born, but other times I think of how old they would be if they'd been born on their due date...
Having lost a son at 5.5 months, I too think of two dates. We lost our son 4 days before Christmas and he was due around the beginning of April. Had he lived he would be two years old next month. Praying for you and your family.
I was praying for you, just could get a chance to tell you. Well, I guess it would be correct to say that I was praying for you especially that day. Love you!
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