Urgent prayer request...

I am so blessed to have so many prayer warriors lifting us up in our journey through this life, and now through our pregnancy. Today, I would love it if you would be a warrior for my good friend.

My sweet friend Amy (from my last blog post) is having a really hard time right now...Just today they found out their sweet puppy Cooper seems to have a fatal sickness. Some of you might not be dog lovers, or understand why this news just breaks my heart so much, but please, for me, would you lift my friend up? She and Dusty have been going through the impossibly hard journey of infertility for a long time, and like my own Betsy, their dogs are their 'furry' children. These dogs have been the love that we've needed, the comfort at our hardest points, and the unconditional love that have helped to fill the holes in our hearts. Amy and Dusty with Tucker and Cooper (R)

So to lose your 'child' while your so desperate for God to grant you a child just doesn't make any sense at all. Please pray with me for a miracle for Cooper, that they'd find a way to help her get well at their appointment tomorrow, and that God would just wrap His arms around Amy and Dusty as go they go through the next few days. I know God is a miracle working God! Thank you!!

And just to remind you (some of you are amaze me and seem to remember these details better than I do!) tomorrow is our sonogram!! Justin and I can hardly wait to get to the doctor tomorrow and see the flickering heartbeat on that screen. I just don't care how many there are in there, but I'm just praying for that strong heartbeat. I know so many people get to this point, only to find out that something was wrong with the baby. I have really felt satan trying to put fear into my mind, but I'm trusting God that He has a wonderful plan for us! And that it is just going to get better tomorrow!! Our baby is going to be healthy! I look forward to sharing our amazing news tomorrow!!!

Thanks again for all your prayers--for us and for our dear friends!

Breakfast with friends!

Saturday morning Justin and I met for breakfast with some great friends of ours, Dusty and Amy Walker. If you've known me long, you have probably heard me talk about Amy or have clicked over to her blog on my sidebar. Some of you probably even found my blog because of her. Anyway...I just love this woman, learn so much from her strength in every situation, and cherish the moments we actually have together in person.

It is so much fun to have couple friends like the Walkers, that no matter how long we don't see each other, we just pick back up like it was yesterday. True friends!!

We love you guys, and had such a wonderful morning with you! So glad we get to see you again in a few months!!

Phew!!!

That is the sound of me exhaling while I lay here on my couch with my feet up after a long week! I'm sad to admit that this is the postition I've arrived at right about 4:30 every day after school this week!

What a great week back to work, seeing all my co-worker friends, the kiddos, and getting back into the rhythm of life, but boy am I exhausted!! I'd forgotten how wiped out you feel in the first trimester of pregnancy! Add that to the fact that my sweet husband has been doing everything for me around the house (dishes, laundry, carrying things), keeping me from having to use much energy before this week. I get why I'm tired! But, the frustrating thing has been that when I get in bed to get that rest, my mind wakes up and it takes me a while to fall asleep! So frustrating!! =)

I was 6 weeks yesterday, and we are only 6 days away from the sonogram to see the heart (hearts?) fluttering, and I'm SO EXCITED!!! I just love being pregnant! Even with the sporadic days of icky feelings, every day is a miracle and I am so very thankful!!!

Yesterday I got my first baby gift!! Our first pack of diapers!! At Bunco last night, my sweet friend Salina brought a cake and diaper presents to each of the four girls in our group that are pregnant! There are so many people she had been praying for, and four of us are pregnant!! What answers to prayers, and so much fun to be one of the four!

Thank you again to all those who have contributed to Justin's March of Dimes, March for Babies walk next month! We so appreciate your generosity!!

Hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing weekend! I'm really looking forward to some pretty spring days here in Texas!

Big numbers!

So I had another pregnancy test today! I didn't need to have it done, but I wanted to! When I was pregnant with Jonathan, I did another test a week after the last one, just to see that my numbers were going up. So I decided that I wanted to do that again this time, for peace of mind that this pregnancy isn't just a dream, and to also be able to compare them to Jonathan's numbers!

I got the call back from my nurse around 2 today, and the numbers had indeed gone up! Yeah! As a rule of thumb, pregnancy hormone numbers (HCG--what these tests are measuring) should double about every 48 hours. So according to that, my numbers today should have been around 10,000 today. My number was 14, 716!! So that means everything is proceeding like it should! I questioned her about that number, but she said that didn't necessarily mean anything at this point. It is high, but she's seen single babies with super high numbers, and twins with lower numbers...so we just have to wait for the sonogram in 10 days!

Every pregnancy is different, I've been told, and the numbers are too, but just for comparison, here are my numbers with Jonathan's pregnancy and the numbers from this pregnancy...

1st test...Jonathan--94, now--272
2nd test...Jonathan--242, now--1,070
3rd test...Jonathan--6,632, now--14,716

So I'm not quite sure what to make of it all, especially since Jonathan's numbers more than doubled on the last test as well. But it doesn't matter! Like my mom said on the phone today, "No matter how many are in there, this means you are having a baby!" And we are so truly thankful for that!!

Picture update!

I just realized that there are some pictures I haven't posted that I've taken with my phone over the last few weeks.

First off, my sweet parents got us roses when we got the great news that we were pregnant. Aren't they beautiful?! I'm still enjoying them!!

Justin and I had a great time on Thursday afternoon getting Jonathan's grave so cute and bright for Easter. My mom and I usually do the flowers (mostly my mom!), but since she is still out in California, Justin and I took up the challenge. I just LOVE gerber daisies, so when I saw these at Michaels last month, I just had to get them!!On Friday night, Justin went out to watch some of the March Madness games with some friends from work, so my sweet Daddy took me out for a date!! I had to at least snap one picture...sorry about the squinty eyes--it was a little bit bright!!

We went to eat dinner together, and then on to the Dallas Symphony!! I haven't been to the symphony in years, and it was so much fun! We heard Bach, Handel, and Mozart. Thanks, Papa, for a really special night! Love you!

Had to include just one picture of Betsy--this is how she enjoyed most of the weekend! I think she is pretty lazy, but SUPER cute!! I think she's going to miss her bedrest buddy when I go back to work next week!

We went to bed yesterday with a few snowflakes coming down, with a forecast of 1/2-1", and we woke up to 6+ inches!!! What a pretty sight to wake up to, but strange too after having a week of beautiful 65-75 degree temps and lots of sunshine! We enjoyed just staying in bed for awhile, and Betsy had fun chasing (and losing) her ball in the deep snow! Then Justin decided he wanted to make a snowman. So he went outside, and about a half hour later, I went out to see how it was going...

I took some pictures (that turned out a lot darker than it really was) of the yard with the 8th or 9th snow of the season--unheard of here!

And when I came out again , my creative, artistic, detail-oriented husband was hard at work building the Capitol in our front yard!! Not sure why he decided to do this...I guess it is just on the mind with everything going on in DC today, but it turned out really cool!



It is huge...7 feet long and about 4 1/2 feet high!! He used up most of the snow in our front yard, and even some from the back, and even carved in windows!! My husband continues to amaze me!! Our forecast tomorrow is 64, and 73 on Tuesday, so I don't think the Capitol will stick around for long!

All in all, we've had a great weekend, and I've really enjoyed the last 3 weeks of getting to relax and let my little baby get a strong start on life! I'm feeling really good, hardly any queasiness, a few other good pregnancy symptoms, and best of all, NO spotting at all! What a miracle! I'm back to work tomorrow, and I'm really looking forward to seeing all of my friends and all of the great kiddos! Thanks for continuing to pray for us and our tiny baby (babies?), and also keeping my grandma in your prayers too!

5 Weeks!

First off, let me just say how thankful I am to those who have donated to Justin's March for Babies walk. It makes me so proud to know that we have friends and family who are so generous in giving to this wonderful organization! Plus, we just found out that Justin's company will match any donations that we collect! How amazing is that??!

~~~

Today, I am 5 weeks pregnant!!! For most people, that is still super early, and it is for us too. But it is so exciting to me, because 3 out of 4 of my pregnancies that ended in miscarriage were already over by this point. So for us, every continued day is a huge milestone!! I told Justin the other day that I didn't want to just endure this pregnancy, counting the days until we passed the bad times we've experienced before, but instead, to enjoy and be thankful for each and every day this baby is growing inside of me! As we know too well, it can all be over in an instant, and I don't want to miss out on any chance to enjoy every moment!! God is so good, and has given us this opportunity to be parents again. We are so thankful, happy, and grateful that He is answering our prayers!! Like my sister-in-law Joy said, in her blog post here, God's redemption is happening in our lives, and we praise Him for it!!

I continue to feel really well, a few times of queasiness here and there, and it is all worth it because it means I'm pregnant!! My hips are VERY sore from the progesterone shots Justin gives me every morning, and my poor tummy is black and blue from the blood thinner shots, but I don't care! It is so worth it!!! I will take every pain, ache, bit of nausea that comes from this pregnancy if it means that we get to finally be parents of a child or children here on Earth!!

I look forward to updating more details about this pregnancy for the next 9 months...including the answer to our "how many are in there?" question in just 2 weeks!! I can hardly wait for that sonogram!!

Thank you for your continued prayers for us!!

~~~

A quick update on my sweet Gram...

She is still fighting to heal and recover. Over the last few weeks, it has continued to be a rollercoaster in her healing process. She had finally gotten strong enough a week and a half ago do be discharged from the hospital to a rehab facility, but after only 3 days there, she was rushed back to the hospital in grave condition, hardly able to breathe. We really thought we were going to lose her, but fighter that she is, she has seemed to pull through again this week. She ended up getting double pneumonia from aspirated food in her lungs, and that has been a battle, among many others, this week. My sweet mommy is still out there, caring for and loving on her mommy, mostly doing the overnight shifts at the hospital. My two aunts are also there, doing their shifts with Gram, and I know they are all appreciating the special times that they have been able to have with their mom. Please continue to pray for all of them, and that God would continue to touch my Grandma. I know that she longs to be in heaven with her Jesus, but she is definitely a strong woman and a fighter, and will continue to fight and bless others for as long as God allows her to!

March for Babies...

Next month, on April 17th, Justin is participating in the March for Babies walk with his company. I can't tell you how much my heart melted when he told me that he wanted to do this in honor of Jonathan. There are so many babies born prematurely, and those who face so many medical issues because of prematurity. March of Dimes is such an awesome organization that raises money and does research to prevent and stop prematurity. How awesome if the answer to prematurity was found because of their work!

Please do not feel obligated to donate to his walk, but I just wanted to explain the new button on the right side of my blog. I have never wanted to use this blog as anything but a journal of our lives, which are pretty exciting right now!! But if you feel led to donate anything, even $1.00, we'd appreciate it! If you feel led to pray instead for families with premature babies, we'd appreciate that! Please pray for us in our new pregnancy, that we will not have to face a 'too early' birth ever again!!

Justin--I love you and I'm so proud of you!! I will be there to proudly cheer you on, and will be proudly wearing my Team Jonathan shirt!!

1070!!!!!!!

We are still (very?) pregnant and SOOOOO excited!!! The number went from a 272 on Friday to 1070 today. That is almost quadrupled!! (Quadrupled would have been 1088) So we're not sure what to make of that...twins?? But, however many there are in there, we are so very thankful to God for this precious miracle!!! Thanks for your prayers, and keep them coming!

We have a sonogram at 7 weeks, on April 1st. That is when we should find out how many are in there!! According to my calculations, our due date will be November 18th, but if it is twins it will be earlier than that. Also, because I have a transabdominal cerclage, my doctor won't let me go past 39 weeks, not matter what. So I guess that would be a due date for a singleton of November 11!!

I'm just so stinking excited to be able to be typing these words!!!! =) Yeah!!!!!!!

The results...

Well if you couldn't tell by the picture, our results were POSITIVE!!!! We are so absolutely excited!! My pregnancy number was a whopping 272! Just for a comparison, with our last IVF cycle, the number at this same point was only a 128. With Jonathan at this point, it was only a 94! I asked the nurse if this meant anything like twins at this early point, and she said it could mean anything right now, even triplets! Since we only put 2 embryos in, I'm thinking that's a long shot, but any number of babies right now would be WONDERFUL!!! I also asked her with a number that high, does it seem pretty solid, or is there a chance we could repeat what happened last time? She said that that is a solid number and I haven't had any cramping or spotting, that I should not worry, that it will be okay! So that was very encouraging! I still am holding back just about 1% of my excitement, waiting for a huge number on Monday, but we are just ecstatic!

I sent Justin this picture to surprise him! He was so happy!! He immediately told me that I'm not to do anything and to continue relaxing!! Sweet husband!

So I'll post more later, just wanted to get this up, so all of my prayer warriors could celebrate with us!! Keep the prayers coming! For 9 more months of a healthy pregnancy!!!!!

24 hours and counting!

Okay...so I'm really looking forward to today being OVER!! =) I go in for my blood test tomorrow morning around 8, but we won't get a call from the nurse until sometime in the afternoon--about 24 hours from now! Part of me wants to test at home early, but I'm going to be strong. I'd rather not ruin my excitement today if it is bad news, and I want to the know the number of how pregnant I am!

So Justin and I are watching the seconds tick (slowly) by, and praying that God would bless us with good news tomorrow, Monday, and for the next 9 months!!

Thanks for your prayers! I'll update again tomorrow--hopefully with GREAT news!!

7 days down...3 to go!

Right now, it has exactly one week since our FET. I can't begin to tell you how excited Justin and I are that all is seeming to go so well. During our IVF last year, and during the IUI cycles before that, I had started spotting/bleeding/cramping by this point, and knew that something just wasn't right.

But I have such a peace about this cycle. I've been encouraging Justin not to worry, that all is okay and will continue to be okay. He has been so sweet to me and an absolute nervous wreck that something will go wrong again. My poor hubby! We've had so many times of things going wrong, and he wants this to be THE cycle just as much as I do! Justin, I love you so very much!!

Thank you for your continued prayers, encouragements, and hope along with us that this will be the one!

Only 3 more mornings until we go in for our pregnancy test!! I'm definitely in the countdown!! I know that even if it is a positive result on Friday afternoon, we still have to wait to see the numbers doubling on Monday. That is the part where I think I'll be the most nervous, but I'm choosing to TRUST!! God is in control!

"But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I will praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?"

Psalm 56:3-4

The many faces of Betsy...

On bedrest!

The most awake she has been all week--she wanted some of my popcorn!



But was soon fast asleep again!


Can you say content??

No matter where I am, she is right there with me, loving every single second of our bedrest!!

So far, all is going so well! I feel great, no spotting, and I'm praying that those little embabies are burrowed in nicely and growing strong!

So many new friends!!

I am absolutely blown away by all of my lurkers new friends that have commented to say hello! Thank you all so much for introducing yourself! I can't tell you how happy I am that you said hi! If there are any more of you, I hope to get to know you too! I've had so much fun checking out your blogs (if you have a link to one) and seeing your beautiful families, your interesting lives, and seeing the amazing women you are!

I just had to share this PRECIOUS picture from my friend Brenda and her daughter Lilly up in Alaska. She is actually a friend of one of my friends here in Texas, and I so hope that I get to meet them in person someday! Brenda--you have been one of the most encouraging people to me these last few years, and this adorable message from Lilly was the icing on the cake! Thank you so much!!

I'm chanting this along with you, sweet Lilly!!

Reporting in...

So you'd think that since I have nothing to do but lay around in my bed, that there would have been all sorts of blog posts from the last 3 days! Nope! But, amazingly enough, I filled up my days! I've read books, watched some movies, watched some tv, and just vegged! My Betsy has definitely kept me company these past few days, enjoying her bedrest too! My dad has been my lunch buddy each day, and a wonderful friend even brought over a delicious dinner last night! Thanks Michelle!

The last couple of days I have been completely amazed by the love and support of complete strangers, my "lurkers"! I know a lot of people in my real life who read my blog, but the amount of love and prayers, emails and comments I'm getting from people I've never met is absolutely wonderful! I love hearing from those who I don't know, but have been following my life! (Crazy to think that anyone would even be interested in my little old life!) How amazing it is to me that through this blog, I am able to connect with people from all over the world--literally! I'm so glad I live today with this technology available! I know it isn't reality to think I will get to meet all of you, but I would love to actually meet you someday!

I was reading on a blog of a fellow mommy of babies in heaven (Love you Marie!) how much the blogging world has meant to her in this "new" life. The new life being the time after we lost our babies. I completely agree with her, and actually can look back at this past year and a half as an amazing blessing. I honestly know that my reaction, or even my life for that matter, would not be what it is today, without the support from other people who have experienced the trials of infertility, the heartbreak of losing your babies, or even from those who have lifted me up in prayer through these times. I honestly feel, through all of these experiences, that the love and support of my family, my friends, and my 'in-the-computer' friends, God has restored to me true joy. Right after we lost Jonathan, I didn't feel happiness--my heart was breaking--but I asked God to give me joy again. I really feel like He has, and I'm so thankful! And much of it has to do from the support and prayers from you all!

Okay, so I guess I'm rambling a bit today. =) I've had too much time just laying here, without anything going on, to ponder. I just wanted to say thank you so very much!



...Off to another day of being lazy, like a princess perched on a bunch of pillows with my dog by my side...hope you can do something exciting for me today!

And, if you are a lurker (hate that word, but I'm one too on many amazing women's blogs!), drop me a comment. I'd love to hear who you are!

Have a wonderful Friday!!

Successful Transfer!

We had a very successful transfer this morning, and now I'm comfortably cuddled up back in my bed for some "embryo implantation" time! =)

We arrived at the hospital at 7:30 this morning, and by around 8, the embryologist came in to let us know the status of our embryos. She explained to us how the embryos were frozen and how they thaw them. It is SO incredibly amazing to me that this is all even possible! Before freezing the embryos, they remove all the liquid out of the cells (so it doesn't become ice crystals with sharp edges that could damage the cells) and they kind of collapse into themselves. When they thaw them, the fluid kind of reconstitutes, and then they let them grow to see if they continue on with the cell dividing/growing process. Remarkable, isn't it??!! The transfer went off without a hitch, and by 10am, we were on our way back home!

We had three embryos frozen after our IVF last year, and the plan was to only implant two. The first two of the three that they thawed seemed to come through well, and so there was no need to thaw the third one. The top one in the picture actually went down in quality, from a C before freezing to a D (with A the highest rating). The dark cells you see in it are actually dead cells, but she explained to us that there were a lot of remaining live cells , and so they determined that we could proceed with it. She said that sometimes they are surprised and that embryos like this do go on to become a healthy baby! So we are believing that it will!

The second embryo was definitely our All-Star! It went from a C rating to a B+ rating!! She said she actually wanted to call it an A, but since it was only a C at freezing, she thought that might be too much of a jump in rating. As you can see below, it looks completely different from the other embryo. It is already hatching out of it's shell, which is an AWESOME thing! In order for an embryo to implant in the uterine lining, it must first hatch out of the outer shell. She said that this was one of the best embryos she has seen after freezing and thawing! It ended up being better than the two fresh ones we put in last October! What a miracle!!! I'd heard that most embryos after freezing either stay the same quality or go down, but we had one that just about became the best quality embryo you can have!! Thank you Jesus!!

Our "embabies" as I like to call them =)

As you can see in the B+ embryo, there are a few dead cells near the top of the hatching site, but she said it was very few. I attached the picture of the two C quality embryos that we implanted last year. Notice they were sort of egg-shaped, which means they were on their way to hatching, but not to the actual hatching process like the one today.

So overall, Justin and I are just thrilled! Everything went so smoothly today, and we are so at peace with this process, knowing that God is in control! I'm believing for our miracle this cycle, and have hope that this will be the time we become pregnant, stay pregnant, and have our baby/babies!!

I'm all set for my bedrest, thanks to my sweet friends at work. They secretly put together a bedrest kit for me this past week and presented it to me yesterday! It was full of chocolate, chips and queso, apples, yarn (I love to crochet!), magazines, a word search book, candles, a movie, my favorite Almond Joy candy bars, and so many more little goodies. Thank you ladies for such a sweet and thoughtful gift!! It is going to make the next week and a half fly by!! My sweet Daddy is bringing us meals, starting with a yummy lunch today! Thanks Papa!

I'm so grateful for all the people supporting us, praying for us, and loving on us through this whole process. I am truly blessed!!

"For I know the plans I have for you... plans to prosper you and not to harm you... plans for a future and a HOPE!!" Jeremiah 29:11

Tomorrow!!!!

I just had to share the exciting news!! After our appointment this morning, we are officially scheduled for our frozen embryo transfer tomorrow morning! We have to be there at 7:30, and the transfer is at 8:30. My lining had continued to thicken this week and was at a 6.6 this morning. I was asking God last night to at least let the lining be at a 6, since with the high quality of the lining, my doctor that anything over a 6 would be okay to proceed. So thank Jesus for an answer to this prayer! I think it will be much easier for me to be at peace during the waiting period knowing that it reached this number (and should still continue to thicken)!


Please pray for us tomorrow...
~Pray that as they thaw the embryos tonight, that they would still be high quality and will continue growing and dividing so they can become a healthy baby/babies...
~Pray that one or both would implant and stay stuck for the next 9 months...
~Pray that I wouldn't have any spotting over the next 9 days of waiting...
~Pray that God will give Justin and I peace and complete trust (and no worrying) that He is in control...

and

~Pray that March 12th will be a wonderful day of POSITIVE news!!!