This and That...

I love Fall!!! I love how the air gets crisp, the time changes (yeah extra hour of sleep tonight!!!), dressing in layers, and burning pumpkin spice candles! I love watching football on tv and seeing the trees change colors. I just love it all! It has been quite rainy this year here in TX, but that is okay with me! I'd rather be shivering and bundled up than sweating!!

Here is our Jonathan tree (that we planted last fall) in full color. I absolutely love how this Autumn Blaze Maple really does have a fiery red color. Its leaves are already starting to fall off, but I love the few weeks of spectacular color we get from it. A fitting beautiful reminder of my sweet angel during my favorite time of year! My mom came over while we were gone to the coast a few weeks ago and gave my house some fall decorations...pumpkins, fall-colored leaf garlands, and even pansies planted in my flower bed! What a wonderful mom!!! Love you!

Betsy even got a haircut and a festive scarf to celebrate the season! Not that I'm much of a fan of spiders though (if you look closely you can see them all over it). She will be getting her fall colored scarf next week--November just seems like a time that should be filled with orangey, rusty kinds of colors.

At school this week, I read a book called "Pumpkin Seeds" with some of my students. Some of them had never tried pumpkin seeds before, so I bought a pumpkin and set about roasting some for them to try on Friday. They actually were pretty good, and the kids loved them! Since it had been at least 5 years since we had carved a pumpkin, we decided since we'd already dug all the seeds and goosh out from the inside it, we should carve it up. I gave Justin the honor of doing the carving. For those of you that know my hubby, I bet you can guess what he decided to put on the pumpkin!!! The Superman symbol!! I think it turned out pretty good! I could hardly believe him when he told me that he had never made a Superman pumpkin before!!!

At school on Friday, it was book character dress-up day. I wasn't planning on dressing up, but at 9:30 on Thursday night, I had an idea. (These are two of my co-workers: Kary as an Indian person from "The Little Princess", and Amy as Amelia Earhart)

Can you guess who I am?? At school, people guessd Sarah Plain and Tall, Laura Ingalls, Annie Sullivan (Helen Keller's teacher), Miss Honey (from Matilda), Mary Poppins (when I was carrying my umbrella)--any of those really would have worked too! I was trying to be Anne, from Anne of Green Gables. I have this book at home, and though, except for hair that isn't quite as "carrot" as hers, I was pretty close! Thanks mom, for doing my hair!

And not to be outdone in the costume department, my silly hubby came out of the bathroom this morning with this get-up on! See, the pumpkin was just a preview of how much he loves Superman! What a cute man I have! =)

Okay, enough of the 'this and that' that has been going on in my life this past week!

Good friends...

This weekend was such a fun weekend! Justin and I had a great time with old friends, and met wonderful new ones!

On Sunday afternoon we went to a housewarming party at the new house of our friends Jason and Ginny. They were some of the first friends we met when we moved to Dallas almost 7 years ago. They have two beautiful boys, are such a gorgeous family! What fun getting to spend a little time with them--we just don't get together enough!

While we were there, we got to know Taryn, Ernest, and their precious little guy, Austin. Taryn and I have been blog friends (The Crouch House) for a long time, following each other's lives and lifting each other up in prayer. She has journeyed down a similar road to ours, and really understands what we are going through. She is such a sweet person, sending me a book to read, encouraging emails, and many wonderful comments on my blog. She lives in Frisco, a mere 20 minutes from where I live, but we had never connected. She spotted our names on the evite to the housewarming party, and we knew we had to meet in the "real" world! I'm so glad I got to meet you, Taryn, and I appreciate your friendship! You are an inspiration to me!

(Okay--seriously--these are amazing pictures of my friends!! I stole them off their blog and facebook, and they look like models!!)
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We also decided on Sunday to join a new lifegroup at our church. Lifegroups are the fellowship part of our church. Since we don't have traditional Sunday school at Hope, we "do life together" in lifegroups instead! We had been a part of a wonderful lifegroup for the last almost 4 years, that finished at the beginning of summer. We took the summer off, and were planning on joining one again in the fall. As we were in the process of doing the IVF, our old lifegroup leader (and wonderful friend) Michelle emailed and told us of the one that she had joined. One of the pastor's and his wife felt that the Lord was calling them to start one specifically geared toward young families--to mentor them since they are a few years farther on in being parents. When we found out were were pregnant, I was so excited, because our friends in that lifegroup also have children and we would be joining them as parents soon. But that wasn't to be, and I just didn't know if I could bring myself to join a group with a lot of babies right now.
But...God was working on my heart. We need to have friends, a support system right now as we take the next steps. I really feel like God was telling me that we should still join the lifegroup. Some of our closest friends are in it, and I really am excited. Even though we are not parents right now, I still know that we will be someday, so why not learn from all these wonderful people?! We are really excited, and can't wait for our times together to come!

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I thank God for all the amazing friends He has brought into our lives. I don't know what we would do without the love and support we get from each and every one!!!

Healing...

I'm back home, and back to work, and it feels good. I needed to be back to work and busy again.

It was very nice to get away for a few days, and Justin and I had a great time down at the coast. I had a few days alone to pray, to cry, to wonder what to do next. Then Justin came and we just relaxed. The rollercoaster of infertility is so stressful, and time to literally do nothing was wonderful.Honestly, I don't know what the next step of our journey is. I know I need time for my heart to heal again. The emotional toll this is taking on my heart is huge, and I'm so thankful that God is here, carrying me through the pain, and bringing healing deep inside.

So now we are in the wait mode again. It seems like we could go in quite a few directions right now, but we don't know which way to go. If we decide to proceed right away with our frozen embryos, we can't start that process until January. We have also talked about the possibility of holding off on trying for biological children for the moment, and starting the adoption process. We have also talked about the possibility of using our embyros, but finding someone else to carry the pregnancy. My body seems to be doing the same thing over and over--not holding on to pregnancies. I feel like we have tried everything, including the highest dose of progesterone to try to hold a pregnancy, and still we had the same result...losing another baby. All that to say that we don't know really what to do right now, so we are just stepping back for a little bit. We are going to do some research, talk to some people who have been through this, talk to our doctors, and pray a lot. I know that, above all, I want Justin and I to be parents. We want a family. God knows how our family will be built--I thought I did, but am reminded (again...) that I'm not the one in control. I know that He is going to reveal it to us and I am going to trust Him.

Thank you again, so very much, for all your prayers and love. I've continually felt encouraged, blessed, and loved by all of my friends. Thank you for being here for me.

Away...

I can't tell you how much all of your words, love, encouragments, and prayers are helping me. Thank you for being here for me...for us. I decided that I need to get away for a few days. I just can't sit at home anymore, and I'm not quite ready to go back to work.

A wonderful friend of my mom's has offered us use of their condo on the beach near Corpus Christi. I'm headed down there tomorrow, and Justin will join me for the weekend. I think it is just what we need.

You are all wonderful. Thank you.

Bad news

The numbers have gone down. It is over. We are heartbroken.

Do you see what I see?

It is POSITIVE!!!!!!!!

I just got a call from the doctor's office, and they told me that we are pregnant!!! They do a blood pregnancy test, and anything above a 50 is pregnant. My number was 128!!! Praise Jesus!! I go in again on Monday to repeat the test, because a pregnancy that is on the right track will double every two days.

Of course, I had to take a home preg. test once I got the news, just to see the two lines. I don't think there is anything better that seeing that second line materialize!! Even though we are letting everyone know, I'm still a little bit leery about everything until we see those numbers going up. I've had 3 early miscarriages, and know all too well the pain of those numbers not increasing. We appreciate all your prayers, and would love your continued prayers through this next week...well actually the next 9 months!! =)

I'm just in shock...I have actually had a pretty rough week. I didn't want to blog about it as it was happening, but I actually had quite a bit of spotting this whole week. I have been so worried, anxious, and just convinced that the IVF didn't work. So you can imagine my shock when the nurse told me congratulations!! It is sure better to think you aren't pregnant and find out you are than the other way around!

Thanks again for all your prayers...I will continue to keep you posted!!!

Happy Anniversary!!

I just want to wish my brother Aaron and my wonderful sister-in-law, Kristen, a Happy 1st Anniversary today!! I can't believe it has already been a year since you guys got married!! They are both such amazing people, and even though we don't get to spend too much time together because we live so far apart, I count them both as great friends!!

Their wedding day was beautiful and perfect, and I really thought they looked like they should have been in a magazine!!

I'll never forget the look on my brother's face the first time he saw Kristen at the back of the church...priceless!! And pure love!!
I love you guys, and wish you a lifetime full of years that are even better than this first one! Happy Anniversary!!!

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I can't resist to share this also...

During the planning of their wedding, they realized that planning a wedding is a lot of hard work. They came up with the most amazing idea to make it easier and have created a company called Weddzilla.com. The site is in the midst of a giant overhaul that will be done soon, but if you now of anyone getting married in the near future, or are a part of a business that is in the wedding industry, Weddzilla will be an invaluable resource for you! It is a site that links brides with vendors, without having to make hundreds of calls. It is great for brides because it saves them so much time and aggravation, simplifying the process of planning a wedding, and is absolutely FREE! It is great for vendors too because they are able to get business from the brides that are needing their services without having to pound the pavement--brides come to you!

Justin and I have helped at a few of their bridal shows here in Dallas, and it is truly an incredible company--and will be even better very soon!! I wish it would have been around when I was got married!!! Check it out...sign up and you can get a chance to win $500 (if you are a bride) or free advertising for a year (if you are a vendor). Seriously...Weddzilla is amazing...and I'm not just saying that because I'm related to them! You have to check it out! Click on the picture below to go to the site.

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Aaron and Kristen...we love you guys! Happy Anniversary!