It's a go!!!

Just finished at the dr.'s office, and we are on for this cycle!!! I have 3 follicles that are big enough, or will be by ovulation time (a 20, 16, and 15.5). My lining only grew a little bit, but they were comfortable enough with it to proceed--they said that they have seen people get pregnant with thinner lining before. I do my shot tonight that should trigger ovulation, we do the IUI on Thursday, and then we are scheduled for a pregnancy test on the 17th!! We are super excited, and believing that this cycle will be the one that will bring us a baby Steiner!

Thank you so much for your prayers, comments, and emails--I can't tell you how at peace I am with this cycle--in large part because of your support! I have a specific prayer request for this next week or so--it seems little, but I know that no request is too small for God--He cares about each and every detail! Please pray that my uterine lining would miraculously thicken so implantation can take place. They had given me medicine the last few days to do that, but it didn't seem to do much. So now I'm trusting that God, the True Doctor, will make everything, including my lining, perfect for this cycle! Thanks for agreeing with me for this!

Have a great week!

Monday night update...

Went to the dr this morning and got some good news, even though at first it wasn't seeming very good. As I've explained in some earlier posts, to trigger ovulation, the dr wants to have my follicles at least 18 mm large, in addition to thick enough lining for implantation. Today, my lining actually had gotten thinner--not good--and the follicles on my right side hardly grew at all--not good. But the good news was that the follicles on my left side went to town over the last 2 days! On Saturday, I only had one follicle on that side that was at about a 13. Today I had an 18, a 15, and an 11. (The right side has an 11 and a 13.) So that means that we are ready to trigger! But they wanted me to do one more shot tonight, to get some of the other follicles to grow a bit more, plus some extra medicine to make my lining grow some more.

So....I go back in tomorrow for a final (hopefully) sonogram, and I hope that they will be ready to trigger! I'm feeling pretty hopeful that this round will go on successfully! Thank you for all your prayers and support! I'll update again tomorrow!

Quick Update...

Just wanted to give a super short update on our shots...

Saturday I went in for my check-up--not too much growth from the follicles. But my dr. said it was okay. He had backed me off on my med. dosage to make sure we didn't have too many growing too fast, but now upped me a little bit for my Sat and Sun doses. I go back in on Monday morning, and hopefully we'll have the growth we needed from 3-4 good follicles!! Thanks for your prayers--I'll update again soon!

Thankful Thursday

Happy Thursday, all!! Hopefully you've been having a good week so far. Even if you haven't, you now have something you can be thankful for--tomorrow is FRIDAY!!! I'm always thankful for that, aren't you?!

I'm also thankful today for good news... I had a dr. appointment/sonogram today to see how the follicles are responding to the shots, and they are growing quickly!! Seems to me they are bigger earlier than my last 2 rounds of shots--so I'm very thankful!! This means I won't have to order more medicine ($$ savings), and we can get this show on the road quicker! I guess, even after five years of trying/waiting/trying..., God is still needing to work on me regarding patience! =) So good news, and we'll go back again Saturday morning and hopefully be ready to trigger ovulation! Yeah!


I'm thankful for pretty weather today. This time of year, the weather can be pretty crazy in Texas. In the last 3 weeks, we've had cold, bone-chilling weather, perfect 75 degree sunny days with just a hint of wind, drizzly fog, and some humid days. Tomorrow is supposed to start off warm, and be in the 40s by the afternoon. Crazy Texas--but got to love it!! It always keeps me on my toes, and even with icky overcast weather in the morning, I'm given a gorgeous afternoon to be thankful for right now. I'm not a typically deep/analytical thinker, but today made me realize that life is like the weather today... sometimes you're in a yucky place that just feels awful, looks awful, and seems down-right depressing (this morning's gray skies, "spitting" drizzle, and overall yuckiness), but God will always, always bring the sunshine back. Even through the tough times of losing 3 babies to miscarriage and Jonathan being born too early, God has brought sunshine back into my life. Plus He continues to remind me that there will always be sunshine, even on the days when I can only see the gray. And I'm so thankful for that!

What are you thankful for this week???

...and a poochie cone!!

Tonight Justin and I had a really fun night. On many nights, after work and dinner, we sit and veg in front of the TV. Not good, I know, but I'm just being honest! We have our favorite shows that are a must-see at least three nights a week (FYI: 24, Lost, and The Office are our favorite ones at the moment!). We had a talk last night that we really want to spend more time out, doing things more productive, and just spending more quality time together. So tonight, once Justin finished work, we put the dog in the car and took off.

Justin took me to a fun hamburger joint up in Celina, TX. It is a little teeny town, and the place was an order and eat outside kind of place called "Burger Fixins" (Yes--that is Fixins, not Fixings--got to love TX!) I can't believe I didn't get a picture, but Betsy sure loved being out with us while we munched on some great homemade burgers!

After that we headed down to the cemetery. I found the cutest little blue glass bunny to put on Jonathan's grave for Easter. Again, no picture, but trust me, it was just perfect to decorate my baby's grave for Easter.

After that, for Betsy, we went to a favorite summer time place of ours-Double Dip. Even though it isn't quite warm enough for ice cream yet, we went any way. This place gives free cones for dogs called "Poochie cones". Betsy has had the pleasure now of enjoying 2 poochie cones in her almost 5 years. She loved it tonight--and was very annoyed with me when I took the cone away halfway through. She just couldn't understand why I needed to get out my camera, turn on the car headlights, and position her just right--she should be used to posing for blog pictures by now! =)

I just can't get over how cute she is--I'm a total sucker for my dog. Can't you tell?

So all in all, we had a wonderful night remembering how important and great it is to make time for each other, focus on each other , and just enjoy our time together! Life gets so busy, and I want to make a point to really make time to enjoy Justin!!

Watch for a blog coming soon showing Justin's progress in training for his May triathlon...Can I just say that he is looking AMAZING!! Good job, Baby! (And for all those who read Justin's blog, he will be back to blogging soon. With all his hard work getting a studly body, he doesn't have time for politics! =)

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One bit of an update/prayer request... We have started another round of shots. I go in for a sonogram on Thursday to see the progress, and am thinking we will have another 4-5 days more shots after that. We would love you prayers as we go through this cycle! I told Justin tonight that I feel like I'm past the calm, rational prayer about our future. I don't know if it is "Biblically correct" or not, but honestly, I'm to the begging, pleading prayers--"Please, God, Please!!!" seems to be how I'm praying lately. I know it isn't ultimately what I want, but I'm standing on the fact that God has placed this yearning for a family on my heart, and I know I'm meant to be a mother!!! We'll keep you posted...

Thankful Thursday...

It has been WAY too long since I've put down in words things I'm thankful for. I've decided today that I'm going to do my best to keep up with my Thankful Thursday blogs. Even on days when I don't feel thankful, I want to make a point to focus on all the great and amazing things that are happening in my life, not just on the things that seem to not happening.

So here goes...

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I'm thankful for wonderful friends that know me so well and know how to make me smile. I really have so many that that statement is true about , but today, I recieved a sweet surprise from my friend Dara. When I got home from the grocery store, a bouquet of flowers was waiting for me!! They are tulips and irises--and are beautiful! The irises are just opening up, so I know they will just become more and more beautiful! Dara--thank you so much for your sweet friendship! I love you and I'm so thankful that you are a part of my life!

Here are my beautiful flowers, along with the pictures that I have of Dara and her kiddos that sit on my kitchen counter!

My (not so good) attempt to be artsy...but aren't these tulips so pretty?!

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I'm so thankful that my parents are now officially Texans! They have been unpacking their new house all this week, and it still doesn't seem real that I can drive 5 minutes and be at their house!!! I love my parents so much, and I'm so thankful that they have moved closer to me!!

Here they are a couple weeks ago with the cute puppies...

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I'm so thankful for things that make me laugh...I'm mean really belly laugh. Last night I walked into my bathroom to get ready for bed and found this....

A brand new WHOLE roll of toilet paper--shredded.

The culprit (who couldn't quite figure out why we were taking her picture with the thing that she just got in trouble for shredding)...

This is the second time Molly has gotten into our bathroom and made a mess, even after we put a trash can down with a lid. Boy is she sneaky!!! At least this time it was a fresh roll shredded all over our floor, instead of trash from the trash can! Yuck!!

We'll miss having Molly here with us. She's going to her new home tonight, but I'm sure Betsy will be glad to be in control of her own house again. We have sure found out that Betsy is definitely NOT an alpha-female, but more of a wuss!! But we love our sweet little wuss! =)

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What are you thankful for this week?

St. Patrick's Day...

Most years on this day, I enjoy wearing green, putting on my little shamrock pin that I wear every year, and truly enjoying it. I usually even think about the yummy shamrock shakes that McDonalds used to make--does anyone else remember those?

Today was a little bittersweet though...last year, I had my luckiest St. Patrick's Day ever. It was the day we found out we were pregnant with Jonathan. I was so happy and I just knew we were finally going to have a baby! I guess I'm always just bound to have the dates of the big "moments" of my pregnancy with Jonathan be bittersweet. I can't wait for the next pregnancy, one that I'm praying will be full of great memories, and will include a wonderful "birth"day!!

Hope you've had a great St. Patrick's Day!

(I don't know if you've noticed or not, but there is a little shamrock on the corner of his picture at the top of my blog header...just a little memory of how special this special day was in 2008!)

100th Post

Wow...Cannot believe that this is actually my 100th post!!! Now, if I had kept up this year with my blog like I did last year, I would have been at at least 135 by now, but oh well! =)

I've been trying to figure out what to do for this "occasion"...

...a give-away--but I've never done that, and really don't have anything really good to give away
...a list of 100 things--but I couldn't figure out what 100 things to list (and I probably wouldn't be able to come up with 100 anyways)
...a deep, heartfelt spiritual blog that would inspire all that read it, but being real here, I'm not feeling all that spiritually deep at the moment--just getting by with that foundational faith that He is in control

But none of those feel right at the moment. So I will just tell you what is on my mind right at this moment...

I'm so thankful for those that are supporting me through this time of my life. I never imagined that all of the things that have happened these past 5 years would ever have happened to me. But they have, and I have been so blessed by the love, prayers, friendships, and encouragement that I have gotten from my family, my friends, my blog-world friends, and the other people I'm connected to through those I know. The days that I feel bummed out, and honestly mad about what has happened, I'm reminded that I'm not the only one going through these kinds of tough experiences. I can go on, I will be okay, and someday I will be a mom, even though I don't know when.

I'm so excited for spring break next week. Even though my job is very fun, and honestly, it is pretty easy, I'm still looking forward to a break from the regular day-to-day. I have some fun plans with some girlfriends that I'm looking forward to. I'm also planning on helping my parents unpack and get settled into their new home here in Texas. I'm so excited that they are actually here!! Their moving truck is rolling in tomorrow--so it will be official!

I'm also excited about this coming week because it will mean the start to another round of shots. Please pray for Justin and I over these next 3 weeks or so. As I posted before, our doctor has told us we have 2 more tries this way before moving on to IVF or adoption. Even though that doesn't mean we only have 2 more chances to become parents, honestly, it is a really scary thought to me. For some reason, I'm feeling a bit like a failure. I know I can get pregnant, but for some reason, getting through a whole pregnancy to the end we want--a child alive in our arms--hasn't happened. I know I am not a failure at all--really I do, but having the deadline just really scares me. If we don't get pregnant with these rounds, I'm trusting that God will do some major comforting in my heart as we proceed.

So there it is--my 100th blog. Not too exciting, but exciting in the fact that there have been 100! I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and for those of you teachers starting break--have a great week off!

An Empty House...

It's been so wonderful to have my parents here with us for the last 6 weeks. Most people wouldn't understand it when I say I will really miss them when they move into their new house next week, but I really will!! And I can honestly say that Justin is going to miss them as well--amazing from a son-in-law, huh?! He's truly wonderful!! I'm not looking forward to an empty house again! Having them here, cooking and eating dinner together, going to work with my mom every day have all been so much fun! I know it won't be the same, but I'm so glad they are going to be very close-by!!

I just haven't felt much like blogging lately, and I'm tired of writing blogs with excuses!! =) I guess I need to just not feel guilty, and blog when I feel like it. I know you'll understand!

We did another round of shots last month without any success. I didn't feel like blogging about it as we did it, because I was hesitant to have to report a bad outcome again. It was REALLY hard for a few days after I found out it didn't work, and it took me a while to get back to my normal (what is normal anymore though?!) self or even think about wanting to post about it. We talked to the dr. and have been told that all looks good, even though we didn't get the result we wanted. He also told us we have 2 more tries of this before having to go in a different direction--IVF or adoption. It scares me to be so close to having to make that decision, but I guess it is good to have a timetable, because with the crazy emotions that go with the hope of it happening for me, I would probably just keep trying and trying and trying. And honestly--I don't know how much more I can handle emotionally right now. So all that to say I'm praying that our next try will be the one--it just has to be.